Reckoning with My Past, Dreaming of My Future

In 2021, during the height of the Stop Asian Hate movement, I found myself turning to Excel to map out my plans for the future.

That period was difficult because it felt like a reckoning that forced me to confront not only the discrimination that I faced but also the parts of my upbringing I had left unexplored. It was, in many ways, a call to action.

Looking back to when I began planning, I only had a vague concept of what I truly wanted. I didn’t have all the details, but I had one thing I was sure of: I wanted to be in China. That was my ultimate goal. Education felt like the most practical route to get me there. I considered the variables—my work experience, whether I needed to study for the GMAT or GRE, and how much money I’d need to save. Initially, I thought this journey would begin in 2022, but the world didn’t seem ready yet. Travel restrictions remained in place, so I postponed another year.

If you had asked the Maggi of 2021 whether she thought she’d actually make it to China, I’m not sure she would’ve believed it. It’s almost surreal now to look around and see the Shanghai city lights winking back at me.

As the end of this year approaches, I’m starting to wonder: What comes next? What happens when June comes, and my MIB program ends? Where do I want to go? What do I want to do?

Originally, I had planned to finish my program and continue to Korea to teach English for a year using my TEFL certification. But now, I don’t think I’ll be ready to leave China yet. There’s still so much to see—and so much to discover—in this country.

I’ve never really been someone to set 5-year plans. Short-term goals? Sure. But long-term? Not really. But I’ve got to hand it to my past self for getting me to where I am today.

So, as I stand at this crossroads, I want to set my intentions and map out the future again—for the future Maggi who will one day look back and thank me for the choices I make today.

What about you? What are your future goals?